I cant believe DD needs to apply for sixth form!! I mean she just started high school. In fact it feels like she was just born!! I have had this same thought so many times with my nephews and nieces but I am still shocked everytime!
Last night she spent the evening researching A-levels and possible subjects and sixth forms she would be interested in. I joined her!
What an eye opener it was! The discussions that we had about her future reminded me that she is her own person! I have always been mindful of not influencing her life decisions. There was a time last year when she was considering a career in Optometry (which is what I had wanted to do initially). She is really good at science but this can’t be a coincidence. I asked myself at that point “Have I swayed her towards fulfilling my own desire from when I was younger.?” I don’t think I have but I must have done it subconsciously. I mean there are so many possible careers, how can she want to do the same as what I wanted to do? I have realised that it is so so easy to try and get our kids to live our unfulfilled dreams. But it is just not fair to do that. I re-iterated to her that she must follow her gut feeling and it is quite rare to have an idea of what you want to do at such a young age. She knows she loves food and cooking so why not take advantage of that.
I have always felt that our education system forces children to make such big life decisions at such a young age and yet here I was discussing exactly those things with my 15 year old! Most children haven’t even got to know themselves and have to decide what they want to do in the future! I told DD that she is lucky to have some idea of what she wants to do but should always keep an open mind as she is still so young.
Anyway, while looking at possible courses, she clicked on ‘Optometry’. “The entry requirements for this are higher than the food and nutrition ones. So does that mean it’s a better degree to do?” She asked.
I told her that she should do whatever she enjoys and has an interest in. She said she can do Biology and Maths but doesn’t really like any of them. I loved both these subjects and but still found them difficult at A-level. “Do what you are interested in.” I said again. “No career path is ‘better’ than the other. You could become an optician and be good at it but if you love something, you are more likely to succeed. YOU will have to get up everyday and go to work so make sure you do something you enjoy. Making money is important of course but not at the expense of enjoying the time you have on this earth.
Also, as always, I learnt so much from talking to her. In fact, I had ruled out one of the schools in my head already. But having listened to what she wants next year I have completely changed my mind and we have actually ended up applying to that school already. I say ‘we’ but I constantly remind myself that this is actually ‘her’ life.
I want her to make her own decisions and obviously me and DH are there to guide. Wr did the same with the secondary school decision. She was only 10. We guided her and gave her the options but the ultimate decision was hers. I must admit I wasn’t sure it was the right decision at the time but she made it and I knew within her first term at the school that she had made the right decision.
She is growing up way too fast and I feel like I don’t want o let go but at the same time I need to let go. When she was little we wanted her to be independent and celebrated her first steps and first day without a nappy! We have taught her to do things by herself.
Now we need to celebrate that she is becoming an adult. I am excited for her as well of course! I need to let her fly and write her own story! I reminded her to speak to God and ask for guidance all the way with every decision. Something I have only been doing for the past 7 years. I always had faith but in recent years I have learnt that he is actually the only one who is going to be by my side always. I do tend to talk to him throughout the day now, where as before it was just during the scheduled daily prayers. 🕯 I was reminded of God’s unconditional support through a movie we watched last week called ‘The Shack’. Definitely worth a watch. My 11 year old loved it too but a bit deep for the younger ones I feel.
Ok so How am I?
I have a had a really good 2 days alhamdulillah (thanks to the Almighty).💃 I even went to pick the kids up from school! The little things that I had so taken for granted, now bring me so much joy! I am trying to be more mindful and am trying to enjoy the here and now. Before it was about getting the kids home, dinner, homework and bed. I am now trying to enjoy the ride and not just wait for the destination. It is difficult to this all the time But I am getting there I think.
Week 2 after chemo is getting easier I feel. But week 1 seems to be getting a bit harder or maybe I just don’t have as much patience with it. Especially after the 3 hour wait this time around!
Colours for today:
🏳️🌈 living in an area with good schools
🏳️🌈 being able to see my children (including my nephews, nieces) growing up to be ‘good’ and ‘kind’ human beings.
🏳️🌈 driving
🏳️🌈 being able to stay away from my phone for longer periods of time.
Next chemo coming up in 2 days. These good days are going so quickly again!
See ya xxx
My Rainbow🌈 