Scanxiety!

Scanxienty!?

Yes It is a thing! Is it weird that the worst part for me is not being able to eat lol??? I mean it’s only a few hours! Most people don’t like the idea of being in that very small tunnel, the loud noise,vibrations and sudden jolts or getting the needle inserted but, for me, it’s the ‘no food’ part???? 🤣

I was hoping to sleep right up until I have just enough time to shower and leave but here I am, awake and thinking.

“Mummy, don’t get excited about results because they may not be as good as you want. Keep open.” DS (11 yrs old) advised me as I said to him let’s plan to do something once I have no chemo side effects !.

He went on to explain that we will need to just do whatever it takes to get rid if it completely and forever, even if that means more chemo or other treatmen. I heard myself in him!! How true is it that our kids are a reflection of us?!

I feel like I am at a crucial junction in life. I want the cancer to be gone, and want to live and just enjoy everything. Life is not meant to be stressful. We have made it that way. I want to do what makes me happy. What makes me laugh and smile. I what another chance to get it right. To prioritise the things that actually matter.

As September gets closer and both kids are starting ‘important’ school years. I hope that I can drop them. I want to ensure that I don’t get pulled into the rat race! School is manmade. So much of what we do is just developed by society and we all just follow. We are meant to do what is natural. So what has happened to us?

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What is the ‘norm’?? This pandemic has clearly shown us that we as humans have defined ‘normality’ and that we can change it so easily if we wish to.

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So I went out for the first time in ages! The park. It was simply perfect. I want to do more of it. I want to be well enough to just go and be! I love summer! Love the fresh air!
Nature. Kids. Family! 🌍

Let’s enjoy another beautiful day ☀️