Long day at the hospital today. Started treatment slightly later than usual and had 2 ECG’s done to check heart rate. I have heart palputations randomly a few times a day. Nothing major and apparently a possible side effect of the treatment as well but Nicola just wanted to make sure heart is ok. It is worse when I get stressed or have done a little too much talking/walking/standing! Alhamdulillah results were fine.
I just have to stop and take some time out when this happens and take some long deep breaths and relax until it stops.
🌈 Another excuse to rest lol!😉
🌈 The doc said that the things on my hands were not warts but he’s not worried about it and will hopefully go away on it’s own.
🌈I spent the time in the hospital to cath up on photos and videos of my nephew’s wedding last week which I was sad to miss out on. It felt good to see all the pics though! Made me feel a part of it. 😁💒
Cane home from the hospital early evening today and DS wanted to watch an episode of A superhero series with me so did this and ate and then went to sleep. It was an odd time to sleep but I couldn’t stop myslef! Felt a bit better after my nap and ate some dinner.
Was emotional all evening and DH reminded me that it is normal and often the case during the first few days of treatment. But it hurts m my eyes so just can’t let it all out!
🌈The eye mask wis perfect in these situations!! 😎
Reality also hit again today when I told the nurse that my cancer treatment book has not got a page for treatment number 7. She said it is because most people have the 6 cycles only as the cancer is detected early and of a lower stage. Mine was far gone so needs longer. They have decided that I will do 12 treatments in total. It was nice to have DD with us at hosp for a little while.
Once again i urge everyone not to ignore any signs. It is probably nothing but if it is anything at least treatment will be shorter if found early. Most things are treatable these days and technology is moving at such a fast pace, including the medical field.
🌈I reminded myself that everything happens for a reason and God knows best. Once this is all over I will be back to lead a better life Inshallah🎉
Went to mums room before bed and she was watching a TED talk on coming out of your comfort zone. We limit ourselves because we are afraid of failing and judgement from others.
We say things like:
“I am not a cooking person or badminton is not my thing!”
We often also limit our children by labelling them at such a young age:
“Maths is not his/her thing or he/she is not a sports person!”
Who decided that? Why limit and define ourselves? There is always a a first time! All thes professionals around us must have come out of their comfort zone in order to try their skill for the first time! It is the only way to explore the world and opportunities around us. Kids are good at trying new things but somewhere along the lines we adults start to think that we are now defined as a person and the fear of new things takes over! What are we afraid of? Failure? Judgement from others? Let’s believe in ourselves and focus on what makes us happy within. And if we fail, we have learnt something from it!
Got me thinking about how I can come out of my comfort zone. Decided to leave it until another Time when the brain is working better lol!
Oh writing this blog is definitely out of my comfort zone! I did find it difficult at first knowing that others are reading my personal diary which I would have usually kept hidden somewhere. I managed to get over it by not thi king too mich about people reading it and trying to just write as I have for years. Writing for myself. To sort out thoughts in my head and reflect on life. Allowing others to join my journey if and when they wish. I have never been good with my phone (I am the last person to call in an emergency lol!). So the blog is a great way of telling my loved ones about what’s happening. I also hope that it may help someone some day. Like I was looking for someones personal experience through this process before I started!
🌈 looking forward to finding a new thing to learn. Out of my comfort zone.
Sorry about possible typos. Just focusing on getting things down.
Must go sleep it is 2am!
.Sweet dreams zzz.
My Rainbow🌈 